The Final Farewell

So I attended the funeral after all. Of course that means I had to travel to my shagz, a place I love and loath in equal measure. I must admit my shagz is beautiful, what with the rolling hills covered with lush green vegetation, topped up with trees. Every now and then, there will be a new tin roof shining in the sun. however, the frequency of the tin roofs is now alarming, the trees are declining rapidly and people have dug all the way to the top of the hills. The air is crisp and clean, and the temperature near perfect.


It’s not so much as hating the place but rather the attitude of those who still live there. And no, am not hating on my shagz. I had a reasonably good time though I went for my great grandpa’s funeral. I actually shed a tear, but that is a story for another day..(next post).


Anyhoo, sample why it ain’t all fun and all expressions like : “My how u have grown!!” or “You were such a tiny baby, now look at you”…. Here is the flip side.


“ You mean you don’t know how to cook (ugali), how will you cook for your husband?” A patient smile as an answer.


“What will you eat if you can’t kill(slaughter) a chicken?” Another smile, actually genuine coz there is this joke we share with my brother about live chicken. We wish we could say we love our chicken dead  – a line from the movie Rush Hour 2..


“What will your in-laws say if you can’t even milk a cow?” Huh? Which century is this again? Am about to unleash another og those killer smiles.. when this is added “ What about the shamba?” I frown and say yes, I can dig..


“Where will you get firewood from if you can’t split firewood?” Ala! Gimme that axe and u’ll see what I shall do with it.


Later, I got fed up and spoke my mind, enunciating my points clearly:

  1. I do not have to get married. Who says u have to get married in this life?
  2. I do not have to know how to cook ugali for me to get married. My husband might not like ugali anyway. And yes, he does not have to be from my tribe.
  3. I like my chicken dead. Preferably without innards, legs and the head.
  4. I will never keep a cow, goat or any other such live farm animals.
  5. I do not see how firewood will fit into my dream house’s chrome kitchen. Besides, use of firewood destroys the environment, with tree cutting and all
  6. I shall not be living with my in-laws, that is if, and only if, I ever get married.

All within hearing laughed their heads off and said I have spirit and didn’t they all have ideas when they were young? And thus I was dismissed.


It can be a bit frustrating, like waking up a few minutes to 8 and people wondering I if are sick, coz generally, people are up by six. But the quietness away from the city can be good too. No electricity, but I heard the moonlight is supposed to be romantic?


Anyway, it’s over now, at least for one Ibrahim…(great grand pa).


11 Responses

  1. those six you should print out and photocopy. hand one to each annoying relative. better yet have them printed on a t- shirt! 🙂

    you have just given me the idea…

  2. So agree wit 31337. Bt that ugali vybe, i must admit ey do have a point!

    if u love ugali, i don’t…..but i can cook rice and spagetti..

  3. lol… those questions and your replies amused me so hard… especially the one about the chicken… they mean well though, wanting what’s best for you in their own way.

    we never grew up going to the village but i would like my children to have that…. in a way, makes you appreciate what you have a lot more….

    i actually don’t mind going to shagz, i realised in the long run…i loved it as a kid but now i go there less and less…the more u grow up, the more the inqisitiveness, of the people there

  4. it’s really been awhile since i was anywhere on blogsville…here especially.

    but i never enjoy family gatherings coz of the maswali mingi…yaaani…

  5. huyo ni wewe anachungulia hapo juu


  6. This post just resonates with the way I think.LOL

    at least those guys tell u what’s on their mind, there is no room for modesty….

  7. Lol….watu washagz wako hivyo.
    The worst question i hate is…

    “Y hv u become so tall?”
    Kwani am supposed to hv stuck at 4ft.

    didn’t grow much tall, poor me, but my bro who’s younger and taller, gets that all the time, then they ask me, “Y have u been left behind?”….

  8. I answer such remarks with, “you too.”

    Umekuwa mkubwa, wewe pia, umenona, wewe pia…..bla bla bla

    I had countless fights with the old folks huko ingo coz I refused to milk the cows. I like tits though, just not every other cows’

    (clutching my sides..) ha ha ha, ati u like tits?? u did a lit milking?

  9. Oh yes,thats the village, but lots of fun to go with it!
    -umenona! -Wewe pia! , surely, si the person will feel…….!
    Don worry, you will just get a jamaa who cooks well and thinks(or knows) that it is so romantic, he will be a perfect one!

    a chef would do…i don’t know about jamaas who can cook being romantic, though

  10. I wish i had a ‘shagz’ to go to…..:-(

    don’t worry,u are welcome to mine, anytime….i shall invite u the next time am travelling there…

  11. i enjoyed this post, reminds me of my own tribulations…u must talk to me.

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