Surviving Life as a boarder (part 4)

Furahi day. Frustrations of the week include the 3 hours you spent doing an experiment in which you blew up two diodes ( smoke rising, could have thought we were blowing up the lab..) which turned out to be wrong so you have to repeat the experiment. Three hours of wires and connections and electricity…. Or this could be a CAT that twoxed you. To twox, I learnt, is to have sex. But when a CAT has sexed you, it means u are likely to get 7/40 while everyone else is getting more than 30. others say it is like having your mind raped, in the academic context, of course.

But I must admit I twoxed this CAT. This is probably one of the few CATs that I have managed to complelely twox. (am loving this term twox..)

Close up look

Going out to rave can be both exciting and tiring. Generally speaking, I prefer not to dress up. I like to think if am meeting anyone special it should not be at a rave. I have pals who really dress up though. I must say it is a really thin line between trashy and classy. Accepting drinks from strangers who are obviously the MBA type (Married but available) is no good because the drinks come attached with strings and wires. One minute they are buying you a drink, the next they have their hands all over you…

Everyone agrees that Alvaro is quite the ultimate mixer..


For those who do not like the taste of alcohol but still want to get high, alvaro is perfect coz it is sugary so it masks the taste of vodowski. And for those who like to pretend they are teetotalling, pouring alvaro in a glass makes u feel better coz at least it is not orange (fanta…) plus there is no way u can pretend coke is Guiness.

Despite promises to stay sober, as the night wears on and everyone else is drunk and having fun in that state, u are tempted too. So if u plan to abstain from fire power, don’t go out in the first place.

Of course if you can, leave your fone behind. Countless fones have gotten lost or pick pocketed. Also, do not carry a handbag, cause who shall be taking care of it the whole night? It cant be comfortable dancing with a thermometer (those small handbags) in your armpit. It can also be tricky answering phone calls, coz your dad might call and you pick up with like “Hi sweetie..” not remembering there is someone nicknamed daddy in ur fone book who is not ur father. It can be hard explaining this one.

Reminds me of this story (true story, I was there) about this guy who did not like talking to his dad. So everytime he calls, he just picks the fone and whispers “ am in class.” Then one day the dad called him on a Sunday, so as usual he was like “ am in class…”|. The dad wondered how come and it’s a Sunday. He whispered back, “Oh, am in church”. A quick thinker, that one. The best lines include those of I was in the library or in church so couldn’t pick up the phone.

Saturday early in the morning, you are preparing to disperse from the entertainment joints before they throw you out. Driving back in the night can be dangerous coz the driver of the moti might be seeing illusions of roads where there are none, or think he’s flying so he’s doing more than 100km per hour (Do not drink and drive, smoke weed and fly.). You don’t want to die young, not if u can help it. Taxis are also expensive. Early morning mats are the option.

You could decide to go home, but then, it will be those ones of “ask me no questions and I shall tell u no lies” to the people u find there. If u are lucky like me and are likely to find no one at home coz people have gone to church and the key has been left under the usual “stone”, u can let urself in and have beauty sleep. Explanations for sleeping during the day include a kesha (overnight prayers) or trans-nighting reading for a CAT, and as long as ur results can attest to this, you have nothing to worry about.

If you meet your paroz at home, you will be hard pressed to explain your disheveled look, the red eyes, the faint or not so faint whiff of smoke and alcohol, plus you are carrying no bag. At least if u are a guy, u can get away with it, coz guys don’t generally carry anything home when they go over the weekend. So it is just better u head to school to catch up on your sleep.

However, I prefer to hang out with my pals at home (could be anywhere but a club), instead of pretending to have fun in a place teeming with teenagers, bad music, drunkards and no dance floor to speak of. At least where you are hanging out, you can dance badly to the hit song, “Am not sober odiero, am not so sober….” Then there is this line that takes it all… “..Watoto wangu…wafanye sopping-shopping…” so we always sing the chorus part.. “wafanye sopping…” You can then try out pole dancing, stripping and all kind of stuff that u do when high, puke when u wake up….and don’t feel bad coz u are just with ur friends and not out there where anybody could get the wrong impression.


10 Responses

  1. CHOP wewe! 30/30, jamani si u wachia kamoja hivi?

    this is the first i have twoxed..i have to savour the feeling…

  2. OK so I am sitting next to you so it’s a bit cheesy typing this but for the benefit of those in cyberspace.

    stalking me??… 😉

    I really dig what you said in the last part of your post girl. I dunno if it’s just me that thinks that the rave can be a ta d bit flaky. As in chicks doll themselves up and and guys pour on tons of cologne and go to these places where you pretend to like a complete stranger for a nanosecond such that you buy them drinks and say congenial little things so as to get a free catch or hopefully even a meanigless fuck all for what? So that we can dispose of the condoms and sakanya more money that aparently has no better use and begin the same self loathing ritual the next night. Does that trully feed the soul. Does one feel the better after a night of debauchery with perfect strangers? Is that the new way in which society feels it can engage.

    i think it is like an addictive cyle…. u go out, do all sorts of things, wake up guilty and do them all over again to push away the some point though, one can simply walk away and say, “been there, done that…”

    Now fellow bloggers, before you totally pass judgement on me as some preachy jerk, I’ll have y’all know that I dont so write because I think that say premarital sex is wrong but I simply seek more meaning and realness. Infact those OK those who know me say that am a straight freak so I dont type in solidarity with those seeking a moral reawakening or some shit like that, I just think that in a way, the rave signifies social ineptitude and even failure. If you wanna have sex, go chat up a woman during the day, charm her, ask her out on dates, make them night dates, declare a relationship and hump onanother in all styles conievable! That’s how it oughta be done, not one night stands with complete strangers or dutty grindin in a dusty smelly smoky club. As for me my rave days are over unless I lose my girl and ability to ge another one and join the cynical mindless masses of Rezorus and Qs. Just my two pence!

    rave is definately not the place to pick up dates… i agree…but i guess once in a while u could find urselves back in those places…there are some who never know just when to quit…

  3. The alvaro was a welcome addition to the raving scene for teetotallers like us.There was nothing as disturbing as downing del-monte mango juice the whole night.Made even worse if all your friends are seasoned drinkers.

    alvaro is getting a bit too sugary though..lakini u don’t tire drinking it

  4. twox?? New juja slang by any chance??

    everyday, there is probably a new word..

  5. just wondering, did the whole class’twox’ that CAT too? it’s usually like hat and when you suffer you suffer alone!

    very true.. ok, u got me, there were 5 of us with 30/30 i confess..but i still feel good about it

  6. Hey,twoxing a CAT is good,very,but carefull not to be twoxed by one soon!Loving the word too, its twoxingly twoxy!

    u sound twoxed!

    Just remind me,kwani pubs and stuff in Nai did not have cloackrooms?So dumb,ama guys don’t wanna pay,but would rather drain down litres of alwvaro?or even keep the thermometer(as you say)?

    very few with cloackrooms, but then u have to apy for the extra convenience, so obvioulsy drinks are a bit more….

  7. hmmm. twoxing? that one is not growing on me. 30 / 30 wow. i was one of those ones who got by by the skin of their teeth!

    twoxing is a good code term, not many people know it yet..u should take it up

  8. came here again after a long while

    u are welcome anytime, all the time

  9. i recall that computer lab with Nostalgia ……….. God Bless Jkuat and curse that VC who ruined it…. wanjohi or whateva his name is.. God Bless The former VC Michieka and Deputy VC ndungu…. Those two were great academicians unlikie the Political appointee wanjohi….

    thank God wanjohi’s term expired, and the senate refused him back coz of misusing funds, though local politicians were routing for him! we haven’t a new VC yet…

    no, am sure this computer lab is not the one u are referring to, its the new one in Hall 7, unless u were here last year?..

  10. All well, but please note that there is nothing “fruity” about Alvaro. Have a look at this:

    30/30? Wow, well done! So maybe it does wonders, this Alvaro thing…

    all those chemicals scared me…, really..

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