The birds and the bees


The conversation is awkward. My mum is escorting me to school. I am now in form two and she has noticed me eying the neighbourhood hunks(J), sometimes we hang out in the name of reading. My bro is also there when she starts asking about my strange friendship with boys. She wonders why I can’t be like some girl called Salome, who’s focused on her studies and hasn’t been seen in the vicinity of boys yet she is older than me.

“Where were you yesterday?”

“Studying.”

“You know let me tell you, omong’ina, if a parent does not tell her children the truth about sex..(there, she said the s word!), they will blame her. So let me tell you straight, men will use u, give you babies, hiv, then dump you and move on. Take care of urself….”

Staring at the road that day, I thought I knew all there was to know anyway, so I half-listened.

Up to this day, now that am in campus, my mum never ceases to remind me to take care of myself. Take care means, “men will use u, give u babies, hiv, dump you then move on or kill you. So don’t have sex.” Kill u was added when there was a story in the news about some chick in Maseno campus was murdered by a jealous lover. Every phone call always ends with , “take care.”

The other day she was telling me a story as I passed her salt and all else in the kitchen.
“There is this girl in K.U. , I wonder if u know her (mum! Am not in KU and I cant know everyone in the whole of Kenya) no I don’t.. she was the hope of her family after she was called to KU to go do education. I know that look. Teaching is a good profession you know. Yes I know. Her family is really poor, so they were really pegging on her. What happens? She gets pregnant in her first year. First year? Yes, first year. (I was in first year then..so she pauses and gives me the look) her parents were disappointed but then forgave her, and even withdrew her sister from school…really? Yes. She was in class five to go and baby sit for her while she completed her exams. Then she went to second year. And what happens? (she works hard, graduates and lives happily ever after, am thinking.) She gives birth to twins.” Kwani this chick did not learn her lesson? Twins?
Did I ever mention that Salome the girl my mum wanted me to emulate now has two year old baby? Not forgetting three of my former classmates….

I always wonder how people still get unwanted pregnancies in this era of contraceptives and all manner of technology?

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10 Responses

  1. Hmmmm.. that reminds me… in first year, in the one month i slept in hall 1, i had this roomate who came from the remotest part of Kenya. She was so naive that I didn’t imagine she would ever catch up with modern life…. Before the sem was over, it was shock on us all!! She was drinking and sleeping around like wow!! Note: she was the C.U type. She got pregnant and kept the baby… we thought atleast she learnt the ‘lesson’. Wapi? She cleared last sem and guess what, she was PREGNANT yet again!!!! People never learn!

    when those from the shagz finally decide to bloom, they explode!

  2. All i can say is, it’s about being self conscience.

    in the end, it does boil down to personal choices that we make..

  3. Unwanted huh……..

    what do u call a 20 year old as having when she can barely take care of herself if her stomach starts to swell? and neither can the future dad…

    Lets be careful with the use of that word. On the other hand, man is to err… contraceptives and technology not withstanding. Thanks for stopping by.

    accidents are one thing, i thought once bitten, twice shy. (u are welcome)

  4. you were lucky to have gotten that talk… i guess my mom was too shy to deal with that or something although we were told about that at school… it is a must for my kids to be told everything by us as the parents… want them to be virgins on their wedding day…. don’t laugh

    i ain’t laughing..nothing wrong with being one, i believe… it is good though, that kids learn to be responsible for all their actions

  5. Atleast you got a sobber talk.So that my dad could give me my first talk about chics he first poured himself a glass of Scotch Whisky .The only thing I remember from that night is,”If you ever impregnate a girl I’ll break both your feet!”

    all my dad said was: i dont want to bring up my grandchildren!

  6. there is condom breakage, and some contraceptives dont ‘agree’ with some women’s body and all that ish…that’s why some peeps are constant culprits. as for twins, dont blame her. blame her ovaries and whatever goes on inside her.

    if u are a constant culprit of filling the earth with kids who will suffer coz of lack of proper care, i’d suggest u get an ovary removal(i forget the term..tubal ligation) or abstain altogether..

    as for me, my mom’s way of saying ‘dont mess with boys, they will bla bla bla’ is ‘i love you’ i always know that ka i love you means: gal, you better not bring a bigger you when you get home end of this semester’ or if its in a text, i always read it as: i hope you not in some man’s arms as am sendin you this text. moms will be moms just as much as boys will be boys.

    if she doesn’t say take care, i might end up thinking something is wrong..

  7. its just being irresponsible and ill advised. i figure some young college students believe they are rebelling by drinking away and having sex ovyo ovyo.

    people should learn to separate sex and alcohol..people can be irresponsible when sober

    nothing wrong with stokes in school but be responsible. whether its a guy or a chic, take care of yourself coz no one else will.

    good advice, that..

  8. @ 3N, you couldn’t have put it any better

    i agree..

  9. that one took the cake. 3 kids and a degree to boot.

    a degree in what she came to study, another in husbandry and another in the form of kids..three degrees in 4 years

  10. People graduate with major degrees and minors in ETC(read bearing kidos)

    true, can’t believe I had no minor!

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