Life in the hostels outside school

Take for example Gezer Hostels. It’s for girls only. In this day and age, a girl’s only hostel for campus students. What’s the goal? To stop guys from ahem..twoxing? I did not add that they are allowed visitors, only that the visitors can’t stay overnight. Curfew is at 11pm. I have no idea what they intend to achieve, since anything that can be done in the night can still be done during the day, if you know what I mean. Even female girlfriends can’t sleep over, I have to ask for permission and you have no idea how much pride I have to swallow it almost chokes me, because at the back of my mind I am screaming : Why? Why the f@#$ can’t I sleep over? My pal pays rent, right? Security issues my ass. Do I look like a thief? Si I can still steal during the day, do I have to do it overnight? Do I look like am going to rape anyone? Gimme a break. But outside is this plastic smile and apologetic expression: “Please matron, leo tu, hata hakuna mtu atajua….”

 
There are hostels and rentals if you want to stay out of campus. Hostels are run just like those in school. You get a room with a bed and mattress, a chair, a table and a wardrobe if you are lucky. There are singles, doubles and quartets. Prices vary depending on the level of security, availability of a generator or just how classy your hostel is. Prices vary from 3 to 5K for a single, 2 to 4K a double, or 2K (I don’t know any less) for a room of four.

 
The thing with hostels is they have rules. Your visitors have to have ID. You cannot have visitors past nine in some, visitors cannot sleep over, no cooking in the rooms, no ironing, no alcohol (ha!) and thousands of others. That is because in the hostels, you do not have water or electricity bills. So there is the tendency to waste that and the management, in an effort to maximize profit might cut the water in the late and wee hours of the day.

 
Rentals are much like where Archer described he is living. Probably one bedroomed, though you can get two or more bedrooms. In these, you furnish them yourself, and invite 10 other friends so you can share the rent and other utility bills. Ten may be an exaggeration, but you want to cut costs. You can cook, invite friends over, in short they are just like the usual houses..though the rent is inflated because of the student population. Best of all, no rules! Oh, you can bribe the watchie if your visitor needs to leave ID and doesn’t have one. My friend Ed gives the watchie gauge. It helps to have an alcoholic watchie.

 
Speaking of bribing watchies, after being in the hostels for some time, they get to relax and you can talk them into helping you break some rules. There is this time I went to see my pal at some hostels called Straight. You see with dudes, you can wink conspiratorially at the watchie if you are bringing a chick visitor. The wink that says “leo nitazikamata.” Then the watchie gives a thumbed up sign and grins wickedly. I wonder if they talk about their conquests with him, never mind the chicks were just coming to watch a movie and otherwise would have nothing to do with you. So when you are leaving in the morning after having marathon watched movies till 7am, your appearance is no different from the one who has been up to some bodily action. Damn, I hate the look the watchie throws at you as you leave. But thank God you can do with many of those since it doesn’t matter what he thinks anyway; he’ll never be a  `potential’ in heaven or on earth! A potential as in potential mate. However, I do not make it a habit of making myself the object of the watchie’s source of gossip and speculation.

 
I have another friend whose sitting room must be close to Archie’s house (the last time he had one sofa). There is only one chair and table, though he lives with three of his friends. The floor does it when you want to sit down. Some people get so comfortable in their houses, particularly if they are living alone, and might retain their houses when they graduate.

 
Living outside might spare one of the problems associated with exiling, but you compromise on some things like security. For one, the hostel might get broken into, though this is rare. Mostly, you’ll be mugged as you walk to your place late in the night. There are many reasons that can keep you in school late, academic ones. Could be you were using the studio, the library or in a study group. Also, when you are in school, you are seconds away from cheap meals in the mess, and minutes away from the classrooms, so you can wake up at the last possible minute.

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17 Responses

  1. lol, bribing watchies…Jeez, u remind of me of my time in high school…

    Our high school watchies were un-bribable. But here…they thrive on that..it could be alcohol, cigarettes, even soda

  2. mmmhhh! Trust guys to have codes at every level. I lived outside campus for a year, with my mum, so no tales to tell there.
    In campus was another story altogether.

    Oh, I do love stories..do tell..

  3. haha you are too funny.. movie marathon au sio!!

    You should try it..it is always amazing how you can stay up all night to watch movies and series but try studying and you are asleep before midnight!

    by the way i dint know the word ‘twox’ is now used everwhere…it originated in Lenana Skul, Changez.

    A classmate who was in Lenana told me they used to use it too..

    Which year are you in?

    Second.

  4. Hostels are many in juja! Those rules suck! But if you think about it, you can’t blame the management of such. You do know what campuserians are capable of (not) doing. Better be safe than sorry.

    I guess..of course they are always being broken all the time..

    I actually know of people who graduated like 4 years ago and they retained their rentals. Claim life is cheaper in Juja than in Nai. True that though.

    Truth be told, I would not want to live in Juja after graduation..

    Given the option I’d have wanted to live outside campus but given the circumstances I can’t.

    Me too..am tired of roommates! I never get people I can always get along with..

  5. oh, tales i can tell. many. not here though. people know me!

    We’ll all pretend we do not know you…

  6. Kenya campus officials will one day wake to shock realizing that two room mates ,of the same sex of course,are lovers,and do all that lovers do.

    Well, no one is willing to accept it so we shall still have girls/boys only hostles

    They are dumb to keep off night visitors,daytime is also good enogh for action as you say Savvy.
    That watchie,ana mambo.I understand one campus chick fell for a watchie and ended up his wife,for real,so do not sideline him,he has his game too!

    The watchie, for real? Maybe he has other qualities I may have overlooked 😉

  7. my goodness i never really lived in a hostle, i was a hall but i wont forget the time i had to climb over the gatye coz i was out doing a late radio show and got in after midnight and no bribing could get this guy to open the hostel for me! campus!

    sometimes the watchman closes the side gates to the campus too..and we all end up jumping over the gate..

  8. Hostels are usually turned into sex havens on weekends.At my place you dont have to bribe the guy just wait for the day ManU is playing and he’s nowhere to be seen.
    Guys who were in Elite(Nahururu) used ‘twox’ to refer to homely ladies.”Huyo dame ametwox”

    To twox can be used to mean to have sex. Apparently, it originated in Changez-Lenana School..

  9. Where I went to school, hostels used to be 60k for a sem and for most of us paying that was out of question. So I learnt the hustle for paying rent early. Luckily transport to school and back to where I was staying was a mere 20shs. I miss those days!

    Hostels here are way cheaper then…kwani what was so special about yours?

  10. LOL – ‘up to some bodily action’.

  11. Yeah.

    Following is some history for those who joined JKUAT just the other day!

    Security and rules in hostels at Juja started when MMS (now JKUAT IT Center) students had a major fight with regular (govt sponsored) students some years back.

    All the windows at Straight had their glass broken and several jamaas were badly injured. What pisses me off is that the fight was about chicks (how juvenile and trivial)!

    In the campus hostels, security was boosted after some S.O.B. committed suicide in a room in Hall 6 during long vacation, again some years back. Also, after the ‘strike’ during lecturers strike because some dumbasses (mind you, Senior JKUSO officials) tried to sneak some archaic Pentium 2 computers from the departmental computer labs past the main gate tulipofukuzwa. That is why they ask for papers and receipts whenever you want to move out with computers and big ‘tenjes’ at the gates.

    That’s why there now is 10 to 10 in Hall 1 and 2, and security guards all over.


  12. Now I understand the cause of all the rules..even then, these things are still happening.

    A student commited suicide recently in some hostels called Kirsek, new hostel…

    Theft still happens though I have no idea how they sneak that past the watchie. Last year, 15 TFT monitors were stolen from a lab!

    What did they want to do with the P2 Comps? display at a museum?

  13. now i get it,that wuld xplain the nasty writtins on the walls za fab na scc rooms even after countless color coatings.

    Students have this bad habit of writing on walls..

  14. you guys are seriously scaring me, am to join jkuat juja this may and live in hostels,, but hose rules banaa,,, yikes

  15. In jkuat-karen,no hostel is cheaper than 40k,bt u are provided with your own room,bed,matress,hotshowers,meals(gd1),common tv room,dstv,wi-fi and even some swimming pools,the rules are minimal,and the whole hostel can contain like 20-25 guys(both male and female)….bt life in juja seem gd,i love the adventure there

  16. Hahaha.. No visitors past 11PM en when it hits 11:01PM the watchie comes knocking in the rooms asking you to leave.. hahahaha

  17. 6+ years later and its still valid

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