Again?

Brrrr…..Brrrrr…

Now who could be disturbing me as I try to catch up on sleep? It’s a Monday morning but I have no classes.

I open my eyes, and let the ringing irritate me to wakefulness. It’s the official ring tone.

“Hello.” I say in my most awake voice.

“Could you please come to my office?”

“Right now?”

“Do you have a class?”

“No. I can be there in 20 minutes. And I did not find the assignment you were supposed to leave in your pigeon hole.”

“Yes, I was calling you about that. You see, there were printing problems. You just come to the office and I will explain that.”

I run to the shower, bathe quickly under the resentful stare of the cleaner (she had already flooded the bathrooms), get dry clothes from the lines because I forgot my keys somewhere outside school, and head to his office. A 10 minute walk and 2 flights of stairs later, I knock.

It’s an open office but he is the only one there.

I stick out my hand.

“Hello, how are you?” He asks.

“ Am fine thank you.”

“Take a seat.”

I pull a chair from a neighbouring table and sit down.

“How is your day? “ Do u have to ask that?
“Fine.”

“And how was you weekend?” Yawa!
“Fine.”

“About the assignment. You see, since I could not print it in time, I decided that instead of the assignment, you will do CAT 2. That will cover more topics, because I will finish the syllabus tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“The assignment is supposed to cover RPC….but the CAT will cover the remaining topics. I hope the rest of the class will agree to that.”

“I think they will.”

“So what day should you do the CAT?”

“I think Tuesday is better because we already have 2 CATs scheduled for Wednesday.”

“Okay. Then you will do the CAT on Tuesday.”

I am about to rise, when he says:

“Let me ask, where in Kenya do you come from? Wait, you already told me. Where in Kisii do you come from?” Huh? Maybe natural curiosity.

“Gucha District.”

“And do your parents stay there or they stay somewhere in Nairobi?” How is that your concern?

“No, Nairobi.”

“You have a house or they work there?” WTF? Seriosly..
“They work.”

“Both your mum and dad?” I think I know where this is headed, Mister. Don’t try any shit. My mum and dad are my parents, right?

“You look like you are going on a journey.” He says, eyeing my bag.

“Am going to the library.”

I rise, ready to go.

“Wait, are you the firstborn or the lastborn?” Ala?

“First.”

“Eh, Congratulations.” Do I look like I had anything to do with it?

Silence.

“Imagine am the lastborn.” I don’t give a fuck. He is smiling sheepishly. “Do I look like a last born?”

“There has to be one in every family. I will tell the class about the CAT.”

I leave the room in a hurry. I don’t even bother returning the chair I used to its place.

No offense, but he is the ugliest lecturer I have ever seen.

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37 Responses

  1. The guy from last sem, no? This guy called you to interrogate you about your family? And you responded! Hehe. . . You’re too nice. My conversation with him would have ended as soon as the CAT vybe was over.

  2. maybe he thinks he is a long lost relative or he wants to eventually get himself some savvy love…:)

  3. the-undergraduate.blogspot.com

  4. ROTFLMAO!! Ati “Do I look like I had anything to do with it” Now why didn’t you just say that out loud just to shake things up?!!!

  5. LOL,SEXUALLY STARVED MORONS STRIKE AGAIN!!!..This reminds me of a day i visited my High skul teacher to deliver a Report on The Effects of Pre-Marital sex..So she picks up the report,tells me to wait,n a few minutes later she emerges 4rm ha b/room stark naked revealing the curvature of a 29yr old n orders me 2 oil ha whole body….Being the man that i am,i picked up the can,worked up n thats how i broke my virginity b4 i broke my voice,i HIT IT!!But wit the wits of Mordecai Vanunu,i picked up ha bra n a photo n the next day i threatened ha 2 go public wit the story….n thats how 4 years later am still reaping the benefits,i nid not worry bout getting broke,My M-PESA A/c remains Weighty c/o Teacher Wanjiku….OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFETIME,don miss a chance 2………

  6. LOL,SEXUALLY STARVED MORONS STRIKE AGAIN!!!..This reminds me of a day i visited my High skul teacher to deliver a Report on The Effects of Pre-Marital sex..So she picks up the report,tells me to wait,n a few minutes later she emerges 4rm ha b/room stark naked revealing the curvature of a 29yr old n orders me 2 oil ha whole body….Being the man that i am,i picked up the can,worked up n thats how i broke my virginity b4 i broke my voice,i HIT IT!!But wit the wits of Mordecai Vanunu,i picked up ha bra n a photo n the next day i threatened ha 2 go public wit the story….n thats how 4 years later am still reaping the benefits,i nid not worry bout getting broke,My M-PESA A/c remains Weighty c/o Teacher Wanjiku….OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFETIME,don miss a chance 2………

  7. I find this man quite pathetic, really. Maybe you come across as kind and he just needs someone to talk to.

  8. Next time am certain he will ask you out for a cup of coffee, lunch or something of that sort. I hope you wont “fail” his units if you refuse.

    LOL @ being hit on by the ugliest lecturer. Usijali.

  9. iza.

  10. Ugly appearance or ugly character? I assume both.

  11. Hehehhe…..you have amused me big time!!!!

    ati ur mom and dad are ur parents??? No way!!! 🙂

  12. Why does he have your number? AMA mi ni m old school?

  13. lol XS always trivializing! I am going with loco. U shud hav said it loud and clear.

  14. Why doe MR Ugly Lecturer have your number? – ama you are the class rep?

    He just called you with the CAT vybe so he could ask you all those nonsensical questions LOL!

    You have to give marks to the brother for trying….kwanza early in the morning!

  15. saw your name on the papers today (and nzembi’s)…asin, connecting your last post on grades….congrats are prolly in place, hope tutaget invite to share the spolis!

  16. NATION PG 33! congrats once again


  17. @Nzembi

    No, different lecturer, different unit. The one from last sem no longer teaches us, and I take great care to avoid meeting him.

    @3N

    Perhaps we are related, you know, coming from the same province and all, you can imagine how small a province is!

    @Loving my blog
    Thanks..

    @loco
    Now why didn’t I?

    @Lloyd
    Seriously now, there is a difference between reality and fantasy..

    @Hardcoresomething
    He has his fellow lecturers, family etc..I think because am the class rep, he saw an opportunity

    @Mboizmama
    He dare not fail me..I’ll appeal, I’ll make noise, I’ll raise hell..I dont think he’ll fail me…or ask me out because we are now done with him, apart from the exam, that is.

    @Boyfulani
    I’m ok.. really, I guess with time you learn to handle this stuff.

    @Rafiki
    Definitely both.

    @Val
    He he…

    @Xs
    You are old school. 😉 He has my number because am the class representative so he calls me to pick up assignments, CAT results, schedule classes, cancel classes, that sort of thing.

    @Supreme Gream
    I wouldn’t give him my number otherwise..lakini he’d better not call again, no more reason anyway coz we are done with the syllabus.

    @Vieve
    Am hurrying thinking it’s assignment matters….only to find trivial questions. Yeah, am class rep.

    @Boyfulani and Supreme Gream
    Ever observant..and here I am trying to be anonymous. Thanks lakini.

  18. hey.nice blog.its different,fresh n kinda funny.
    kp on.

    Thanks..

  19. Haya basi, tell him to be SmS(ing) you….. its cheaper!

  20. wacha kuwa kichwa ngumu Savvy.Answer him the likes of “yes Sir” ,”No,Sir”,”Oh,thank you sir”(……..do not say thanks),then leave the office with a broad smile and say,”have a wonderful day sir!”……….That should earn you a straight A in a corrupt world full of ogling morons…………na hayo ni maendeleo.

    I shall try that next time….hopefully, there is no next time.

  21. lol… tight. and being the ugliest makes matters even worse

    It doesn’t really matter…but yes, matters were definitely worse.

  22. Talk of ugly cant stand the slightest chance..he’s just tryin to feel handsome!!!

    Not even if he ‘katia’ Halle Berry shall he be handsome.

  23. LOL! If he wasnt ugly, would you mind his hitting on you!?

    I would because eventually, he’ll just want sex from me in exchange for a good grade..like I can’t get one on my own

  24. Would this situation have had a different outcome if this guy was a Denzel lookalike??Just curious…

    Honestly, I would have been a bit flattered, but in the end it will just come down to sexually transmitted Grades and I couldn’t stoop that low

  25. RPC? Memories are made of this.

    RPC- Remote Procedure Calls..Operating systems shiznit.

  26. Yeah. I was doing that stuff 6 or 7 years ago. Waa.

    You were here? Doing computer science, IT?

  27. It’s tough being a student trying to keep up with the grades and avoiding leering lecturers who in a few years will be replaced by leacherous (sp.) bosses!
    The important thing is remaining focussed and drawing a very clear line. And if this line is crossed then you need to take action – see you check with your dean of students whether your campus has a sexual harrassment policy and familiarize yourself with what it entails

    These lecturers are like pests, they never stop. I shall look for it..though he didn’t pursue it, I know had it been someone weaker, things might have been awry

  28. I was in UoN. Comp. Sci. This made me feel real ancient.

  29. @samborera
    ancient? u were in campo that long ago? dont worry, here u can reminisce ur campo days

  30. Not sure about reminiscing. I think times have changed somewhat. But you would be one of the two chics I can quote as liking programming.

  31. i think programming is creative;u have to present a problem in such a way that the comp understands it too…

  32. dude wants to make it from point a to point b. too bad he has no clue how to do this, hence the fumbles in the dark.

  33. am sure with time he’ll improve his game as he grows older and nastier. LOL @ point a to b

  34. neer read ur blog but gal u good.as 4 da os lecturer, lets say a tutorial would be in order.am think getting dissed 4 loserz or the art of being turned 4 kidu 50 jerkz.who said jkuat has naing gud?

  35. eeeeeww!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m a prof out in the states and the system in Kenya seems so messed up and ripe for abuse!

    I can’t even think of what would happen to me if I had such a conversation with any of my students. I’d be so fired and so fast!!!

  36. @mwananchi mkenya
    a prof? teaching what?in kenya lecturers have this power n they are ‘friends’ of the admin,its hard..

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