stuff you dont want your family to know

One afternoon this past Christmas found me seated amidst a group of my extended family. The feasting was still going on, and the drinking that accompanied it, be it tea, soda or whatever. Of course the men of the household cannot be seen drinking tea or other such soft-like drinks. Somehow, they have bottles of Smirnoff stashed away somewhere.

And so they request glasses. Someone carries a tray laden with glasses to the tree beneath which the elder male relatives are seated. What does she come back with? A glassful of vodka, for the rest of us to taste, of course. She takes a sip, and screws up her face. “Tastes like chang’aa.” She does not take alcohol. But I still wonder how she knows the taste of chang’aa? Feeling very wise, she fills up the glass with Coke (soda). Then she passes it round.

Everyone is eager to taste. Am in a dilemma here. When it reaches my turn, I wonder how to react. Of course, no one in my family is supposed to know I have ever tasted alcohol. If I take a sip and act as if nothing happened, will that be suspicious? If I screw up my face too much, will I be overreacting, thus more suspicious? So I said what the hell, took a sip and screwed up my face anyway, then passed the glass.

Being in campus can make you an alcoholic, or chain smoker, or a constant weeder. The weed can cost as low as 10 bob for a thin joint. There is also plenty of cheap alcohol. The drink that was passed to me that day tasted like honey (there was more of soda than vodka) in comparison to some cheap vodka/gin stuff sold in the dingy shops around the campus, with names like “Sally’s Wines and Spirits.” There are no wines there, of course.

Sample a drink called KK- Kenya King. It’s not the most horrible I have tasted. I think the worst is Naps, short for Napolean Brandy. Or is there a nastier brown liquid?

In the end its about the choices we make. Am not trying to rally for or against alcohol, so you can see as this post ends that I have not actually stated my stand or my alcoholic behaviour, existent or non-existent. I intend it to remain that way.


14 Responses

  1. fao?

  2. Naps, N-Series, Nappy Love, 24 Carats, iNfamous grouse…
    whatever they call it, iz mambo yote.
    cuts across the grain.
    has no equal, lol.

    Why does it have to taste n smell so awful?

  3. Hahaha…I’m amused….but I’m with u…campus usually turns guys into alkies…my first taste of those Kenya Canes and what have u…brandy sijui what (all mixed into a punch)..I saw stars….wah!

    Recently, there was a bash where strawberry juice was mixed with KK, the mixture was looking purple and smelling like methylated spirit. I couldn’t drink it!

  4. Your post on the escapades is true many guys in campus will do stuff that they may not do when with their folks! i guess its got to do with the freedom and the company therein.

  5. hahahaha… you are not supposed to have tasted any alcohol?! interesting… i bet you do like having some of it but the ones that are sweet like smirnoff red ice… am i right?

    You are right, 🙂

  6. Yo right campus can bring out the alcoholic in someone. Thank God I dodged that bullet. You’ve been to Sally’s?

    Why lie…I may have bought something there once or twice..

  7. Sally’s wine has no wine??? Just like “kadhalika” can appear in a menu, for a dish,wonder what the waiter is supposed to say when you ask for it.Anyway, campus halls and alcohols rhyme,so…

    And your campus?

  8. They still produce and sell KK a.k.a Kenya King? We used to call it kikingi but it wasn’t my favourite. It is too hot and leaves a funny taste in the mouth and bad breath to boot.

    Still there and going strong. It is cheap, and takes you there..

  9. I can only stand smirnoff ice red….nothing else!

    And black ice? Redds? Maybe some mixture concotion whose ingredients you dont know, tastes nice but contains nasty stuff, you never know. Campus is the time to experiment with cocktails and funny mixtures

  10. ha, sweetie, that’s what campo’s all about! Oh and bomseh, I am shocked! That nickname Kinking is still very much used only without the i at the end and you best beleive that it’s a students best friend, not because of the taste but because it’s cheap and alot and strong enuf. Oh btw Savvy, mix KK with Novida and it becomes the sweetest shit you ever done did, just ask Crips!

    I believe by the time am done with campus,I will have done all the possible combinations of drinks!

  11. Aiii is Redds alcohol surely? I started with Redds and graduated…black ice I can only take 2 maximum!

    Yeah, but it hardly tastes alcoholic. I’d rather not say the number of Black Ices I can do

  12. Waay back in our times, there used to be those sachetthat we used to call condoms. Among the condoms there was one potent one in a transparent and black sachet called Black & White. This one was nicknamed Greatwall. If you downed two of those 100ml of greatwall, you had brought down the Berlin wall.

    One once get comfortable with life, distilled drinks are the way to go. Classy and mature. You like them more when you learn no chemicals are involved in their preparation and how to make perfect cocktails of rum, brandy, whisky, gin, vodka ……….what glasses to use to serve either of them. When you can also tell the difference between them, its even more beautiful.

    I love my drink, a distilled, a wine, a beer, a traditional, I love it I love it. I dont give much of a hoot of what family thinks. I dont get stupid though. I know how to handle it.

  13. chic things u capable of doing surpass the cringe…… i kno u enjoyed every bit and wished 4 more…

    I don’t do such “cringey stuff”, more like crazy stuff but I have my limits.

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