A little bit about myself

He said honest. He pronounced the ‘h’. From then on, I stopped listening and just gritted my teeth while smiling outwardly. Some of those pronunciation lessons can really stick in your mind. I was out for a nightly walk. Nightly walks in JKUAT involve a girl and a boy, usually.

Here is how it goes. Boy likes girl. Usually, he gets her number or room number somehow. He asks her if he can talk to her. They leave the room together. To the shops first. Boy buys Alvaro or Novida for the girl. Then they start the walk. Past the busy hostel paths towards the deserted ones near classrooms. They find a place to sit down. Boy nervously begins small talk as he figures out how to tell her he likes her. Girl smiles in the dark if she likes him. Or she sighs inwardly and wonders how she will turn him down without hurting his feelings. If she didn’t care about his feelings, she wouldn’t have come to the walk in the first place.

It’s not like am always going for these walks. In fact, it’s like once in a very blue moon. I tend to think am a strange girl, or person for that matter.

I do not love compliments. Flattery will get you nowhere with me. I don’t enjoy ‘sweet nothings’ kind of phone calls. After 10 minutes, am straining conversation most times. Unless we are discussing something important. While my pals seem to relish being called ‘just to say hi’, I find it a bother sometimes.

I do not like being liked. Let me explain. I don’t enjoy being hit on. If I went for an entire semester without someone coming to the room to ‘see’ me, I’d be okay. Never mind the jokers who are just after a good time. Those are easily dismissed.

Trouble is when someone genuinely likes you. Someone who will be heartbroken (or something close to it) when you turn them down. Because you have to turn them down instead of stringing them along then finally saying no. If someone likes me and I don’t like them back, I find myself in an awkward position. They usually implore you to give them a chance. You can learn to like someone and that kind of talk.

My answers usually range from ‘I don’t know kind..’ of mumblings or ‘I’ll think about it..’ or ‘ Give me more time..’
If you get those kinds of answers from me, that’s the nearest to a NO that you will get. After that, (maybe am revealing too much) I’ll stop picking your calls or replying your texts. Don’t let lack of credit fool you. For me, it’s an excuse. Sure there are times am creditless, but I can afford a bamba 20 once in a while.

Also, if I don’t like you from the beginning, I know I am not likely to change my feelings. ‘IT’ has to be there from the beginning. IT being that indefinable thing that makes me like someone. If it ain’t there, it just isn’t. But I try to be kind about it.

If I like you..well, that’s a story for another day. I feel I have already written too much.

Back to my nightly walk. When I stopped listening, I started observing stuff. He reminded me of someone I’d rather forget. Ok, he reminded me of my high school teacher with whom I had some bad argumentS with. Then he had the slightest of accents.

Another revelation here. Usually, when I meet someone, my mind, being highly imaginative, pictures lots of stuff. Even a flash foward to a near future does occur. If I like you, I imagine lost of things I’ rather not reveal :-). If I don’t nothing comes to mind, or if it does, it is not pleasant.

In my nightly walk case, the future flashes were hardly exciting. So I just mumbled along the conversation with something close to ‘I need more time…’. With a sigh of relief when we finally rose to go back, I wished he hadn’t liked me in the first place.

We met many other couples on the way back. Am sure they were thinking…those two, huh, must have been doing stuff in the dark just like us. Sometimes all that happens during the walk is a heart breaking episode without as much contact as a handshake.

One of the paths that can appear quite romantic in the moonlight.

One of the paths that can appear quite romantic in the moonlight.

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21 Responses

  1. My dear, it pays a lot to declare your stand from the onset. It helps a lot as one won’t get wrong signals. I don’t think you should consider such walks in the first place unless you’re into it. Its better you be careful than being sorry.

    Thank you for the advice, Igna. Are you by any chance Ignatius?

  2. Good approach, but sometimes a ‘no’ will still work better than the “I’ll think about it”.

    I think so too, I have learnt my lesson over the years.

  3. nice memories. i never took that walk with anyone, just my phone coz the chick i was katiaing was in main campo. at least i didn’t miss much then.

    in your four or more years here, not a single walk?

  4. Been there done that! interesting to see what goes on inside the chicks mind but it’s better to just say no than say ‘I ‘ll think about it ‘and give false hopes

    I get what you mean. I think I will do that next time, if there is a next time.

  5. was just wondering what really turns down a man coz a “no” in most cases works as a motivation and a challenge to which the man keep pestering the lady, until she gives in, hopefully !

    Sometimes, you might make her change her mind by further pursue, but that is not the case for me.

  6. Nice post. A chance to reminisce… I took enough of those walks. Many times, alone.

    Savvy, this reminds me of the self-discovery that I experienced during such walks. It brought meaning to what Alan Alda said,
    “You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.”

    At least, no one had to wonder whether to say “No”, tell me that “she’s thinking about it”, among other things… 🙂

    I take those walks alone sometime too… it’s always a chance to reflect.

  7. ‘I’ll think about it’ is quite an obvious answer for the guy.If he wasnt reading your body language,too bad!

    Bdw I’ve been having trouble opening your page on Internet Explorer since Jan.Did you by any chance change your settings or anything of the sort?

    I did not change anything, perhaps try a different browser. As for me, if am for it, I’ll say yes from the start

  8. I agree most walks taken are usually done to sort out issues. . . When it comes to your situation, I don’t beat about the bush. . .a NO works for me. There’s no point in wasting each other’s time, no?

    No point in wasting time, yes. The walks do help in solving those issues though..or just for bonding.

  9. you guys don’t have places where you can sit and just chill out, where there are chairs and maybe some music…. you have to go sit on the grass?!

    No..no..this is entirely different. Though the compound does not have benches..this is just taking a walk in the night. The campus streets are beautiful in the night. There is a students center but the ambience there is not best.

  10. I’ve been away for a bit but it’s good to be back, veeeeeery interesting as usual! Haha, I need to spend a night in J-town and see how all this goes down!! LOL! Poor chap, you done went and cracked his heart. Now he’s in some kind of “Savvy loves me, Savvy Loves me not ” limbo!!

    Have a smashing one!! 🙂

    Welcome back..if you came to J-town, I’d welcome you with open arms 😉

  11. First I like the writing here(You dont like compliments but kindly take this one). For a moment I saw myself buying the Novida and doing the walk. Thats how deep it is.

    A no is good especially when you notice the guy is after a good time. At times I ask myself how many of those campus relationships last? I guess 99% dont. So what happens?

    (Blushing..)You like my writing? Thanks. Campus relationships are mostly for fun, so after a month, the thrill is over and it’s time to move on.

  12. Memories.. memories..Those walks were interesting…

    I took enough of them, usually once a week – sometimes alone. Most times, with my friends if they were having issues, or unfinished business. Eventually, i ended up meeting some other regular “walkers”

    Most weird one was when some chic asked me for a walk, and i think she wanted to do some “stuff” with me during the walk. She said something like – “i want you to hold me” – and that coming from a classmate was very weird.

    Sometimes, all people need is a breath of fresh air, as they talk to their inner self, or the other party. Wonder what guts i had to go to the farm in 2nd year at midnight. And no kinky stuff happened..

    I’ve been to the farm but at daytime. So why are you quick to say nothing kinky happened? Did something not kinky happen all the same?

  13. believe me being a chick in juja there will be other times

    I try to avoid them as much as I can

  14. Great posts…very interesting

    Merci.

  15. Just say No Savvy! I have discovered using other ‘nicer’ words can be interpreted as giving one some hope by some people.

    Yeah, that is my resolution from now on.

  16. Just be honest (with an h). That way less hearts will be broken.

    He..ok, (h)honesty rules

  17. I did not like complements neither, but when I grew up, I learned that some of them do good, but that most of them are being purely hypocritical.

    If I like compliments, its the genuine ones, said once. No exaggerations or anything amounting to flattery

  18. “H”onestly i like this post reminds me of the walks and i also don’t like flattery.

    You too, had these walks? Interesting..

  19. intwesting.

    reading this and listening to Wenyeji ft JuaCali- Kwenye Nyumba and nitaroga ka hao ma-ordinari na magirimba…

    “…na mashorty wako front line.
    hatujawahi force life,
    si hu-read signs…”

    t’d be good to hear what a jamaa can say about that too.
    nice post.

    What do you have to say about it?

  20. you did the juja circuit. hehe i been there 5 years now and i never did the j-c. anyhu now i guess the adopt a lights make things abit more conspicuous though i don’t know what transpires on the usual.

  21. ha ha ha!!!!nice post.
    Dont think it has ended yet cos that place commonly known as Juja boys has a very high population of guys n therefore you should expect more of the “walks” lol!!

    Well, let’s hope they will be interesting.

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