Just Maybe V

Am trapped.

it’s either I go back to uncertainty, or I commit. Unfortunately, the decision is not mine alone to make.

There is a brick wall right in front of us now. We need commitment to enable us climb over it. It will take patience, which I posses in not-so-abundant quantities. It will need dedication, and the reward we will find on the other side may be life-changing, or turn out to be a disappointment.

There will be challenges faced in getting over the wall, into the uncertain future that is a relationship. It takes courage to do it. There is always the chance of turning back into the safe friendship zone. It’s familiar and there are no expectations.

I think it’s too late now. There is no turning back. It’s either we climb the wall or not. At least for me…there is no stalling here for, who knows how long it could last. It’s an ultimatum I hate to give, the plunge into the relationship or nothing at all.

I know he’s probably scared, so am I. What is it that is really stopping us? I hate psychoanalyzing myself and my motives. So I will probably give it time, see where this is going. Problem is, I probably know where this is going but do not want to admit it. So of course, am just postponing the inevitable.

Which means this relationship update ends here for now.


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