The Kenyan Anorexic

This post was first published at Butterfly

I am tired..tired of listening to your whines.

Picture this…we decide we are having fruits for lunch. It’s a girl pack thing. You find a group of friends together at lunch time and they’ll order the same thing. So someone suggests fruits and we all go like, “why not, Yeah..am fine with that, I don’t feel like eating anyway..” But you know me. I have my own mind…that’s why I’ll agree to the absurd fruits-only lunch when I’ve had chapatti for mid-morning snack at tea time.

“Am so full….this mango is so big…” you’ll start.

“I think I have a very small stomach…” you’ll continue before I have the chance to tell you the mango you have selected is one of the smallest, it’s full of water and in an hour the water will be gone from your stomach and you’ll be yawning away.

“And you know I didn’t even take tea…it’s so far away.” Ok, the distance can put you off, but for me tea is brought right there and let me not say how many cups I took.

We finish up with the fruits (a slice of pineapple, water melon and good-sized mango later) and as we walk back, we admire some suits and some kid’s clothes hanged by the side of the road.

“I like that gray one…and the blue one, the third from your right.” A says.

“Yeah..the gray one is nice, also that green one, the one with ..that one, yes.” I join in.

“Imagine none of those can fit me.” You add.

“And the green one?” I ask.

“That is so big…am very slim. I can’t find clothes that fit me anywhere.” Oh really? How about the rows and rows of jeans I usually admire but they can’t get past my knee? And my other friend who’s small with really nice clothes, does she tailor them herself? I should be telling you this but then you go ahead..

“Am the smallest in the family…they usually force me to eat. I don’t even take lunch. And even if we go for lunch, I wont finish.”

“Maybe that kid skirt can fit me…” But those are clothes meant for children!

That’s it. Tomorrow am going for lunch alone. But I think you should google anorexic models pictures. They are very scary.

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Why Am Not A Fan of FB

Ok..just sample this conversation on FB. Regardless I may have started it, but I think it’s time to hit the ‘unfriend’ button.

Princess Fifi: (Status Update) THE HANGOVER!!!SO HILARIOUS!!!CAN WATCH IT SEVERAL TYMZ A DAY!!!THAT WAS CRAZY SHIT HAPPENING ALL THRU THE MOVIE!!!HAHHAHHA MY RIBS R ACHIN!!AUCH!TWAS A REAL COMEDY!!!SO CLASSIC!Yesterday at 21:17 ·

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Stephen Skinny Kinara it’s cool lakini whats ur real name and do u know me?

Yesterday at 21:19Princess Fifi WATCHU TALKING ABT U KNW ME?RYTE AM FIFI

Yesterday at 21:23Stephen Skinny Kinara Yeah i read that bt doesnt ring a bell. jog my mem.

Yesterday at 21:27Irene Wambui Odhiambo Amen 2 that sista!!tis a real ribcracker!i totaly digd it!

Yesterday at 21:31Princess Fifi @irene u need to re watch it so fucked up were the 4 guys,,,@steph ni fiona b.

Yesterday at 22:02Stephen Skinny Kinara umeniita steph!!! wacha nikuremove friend

Yesterday at 22:08 Savvy (Me) The hangover was released mid last year…you watching it now? But classic scenes like the man bag/satchel, the poem on the roof, the black Doug..

Yesterday at 22:25 · Stephen Skinny Kinara the nude chinese dude jumpin out the boot

Yesterday at 22:28Princess Fifi @savvy fst wat is your problem n how the hell do u knw its my fst tym watching it?infct tis my twenty second tym,,,b*** wats itchin u i just don’t get it,,,now u trippin gal nah nah nt on my stuff?u think u so updated sit the fuck down.@steph again i did chuck me i don’t need yo a$$$ around my page do it before i do it,,u just gat me when i have my day,,,holy crap lil dude,,,bye.

Today at 06:26 Savvy Are u serious Fiona? I was just dissing u, obviously its ur first time. And u call me a bitch? Really? Grow up.

Today at 07:15 · Princess Fifi u trippin gal,,,,really trippin

Today at 09:29 Savvy Huh? R u really the Fiona I knw?

Today at 13:08 · Princess Fifi What do u think nigga?

At which point I hit the unfriend button.

Sunrise at Savvy's Place

I got inspired today….I feel like I should have done photography..or something.

Sunrise From The Balcony

Ths is When I wake Up

This is After Showering

And this is as am leaving...

Savvy The Famous: A Review in Zuqka

What more can I say?

When I Get Drunk

When I get drunk my tongue loosens
And I say what’s on my mind

When I get drunk I lose my inhibitions
And I’m up for anything

When I get drunk I sometimes pass out
And my friends play silly pranks on me

When I get drunk
I dance like there is no tomorrow

After I get drunk
I sometimes wake up in a stranger’s bed

This poem was courtsey of
© james wamathai 2010

New Movie

I planned to write a long post today..but I have been so busy I did not get time so just watch out.

I was going to write it this morning, but then the matatu I was in was impounded (damn!), then I had to wait in dust for a long time for another one….which could not stop at my stage because cops have declared my stage is non-existent. So I had to walk back in more dust..and I arrived late, and immediately got busy testing some new system.

So here goes some new movie, due soon in cinemas near you!

Broke Black Golger...

Internship: Week One

I know we are supposed to look official but I don't think Short Suits are recommended.

Work…

Well, it has been one week. I am keeping my cool at the work place, observing everyone and everything. Eventually, you get to learn who to fear, who wants to be treated with the utmost respect and formality (I respect everyone), who wants to be greeted when you meet in the corridors, who wants to be avoided at all costs (they’d rather you act like you did not exist), which interns to make friends with, what kind of topics to discuss with intern #1 and not intern #2…..

It’s not my aim to be everyone’s friend or the favourite intern. All i want is to be known as the intern who knows her work, is responsible, punctual, reliable and flexible. Friendly but not so much so that you can take advantage of her.

So with my big mouth, i’ve already told one or two fellow interns that I am the face behind this blog..which will make it hard to write honestly about them (or diss-make fun of- them). I know not enough office politics yet.
The week was not bad. Let me just highlight the lows and the downs of working here:

The Lows:
Waking up early. If it was once in a week like during early lessons or exam time…maybe. But working means am up too early and especially considering am used to waking up past 10 when on holiday…

So you thought you would wear your best, plus the working high heels and strut in and everyone will look up as the hot new intern walks in. first of all, the floor is too slippery to strut in stilettos without the fear of falling and second..this place is teeming with interns, so there is nothing special about you!

Working late on some nights…maybe some sacrifices are worth making. So maybe those dreams of having after-work coffee and drinks with my classmates as they too leave their offices will happen on the days am not working late and not any day I wished…

The Highs

It feels rewarding going home in the evening after having accomplished something during the day, even if it was testing a program or checking out the website for out of date stuff and broken links. Or creating a shortcut for a user on the desktop.

I have met someone from my campus, and a friend I hadn’t seen in a while interning here. Looks like i will not have trouble making friends…plus some of the guys are well…good looking 🙂

Now that am part of the I.T team, i can go into places written on the door “ Strictly I.T. Staff only.” They include mysterious rooms called “control rooms”…so even if you’ve never used them, but at least you have been told to supervise the cleaning because an I.T. staff member has to be there at all times.

I work 15 min (without traffic jam) away from home, and 30 min with jam…which means I don’t have to wake up too early, and I use less fare which is good since intern’s payment is peanuts. At least here, it will cover my transport cost and lunch, or transport cots and credit.
Not all three. Or lunch and credit.

I don’t want to analyze too much…just know I like the place so far.