The KaToyo Phenomenon- Part II

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She replied

She replied:

Let me admit I was caught a little bit by surprise. Although all along
I knew this “our relationship” would come to an end, I didn’t expect it to
happen on the morning after spending the first night in bed with you. Given a
choice I would also have wanted the end to come on a Saturday morning, not on a
cold Sunday, though no big deal we girls need some little time to adjust and do
a “What went wrong “ review with the girlfriends. Nonetheless since it’s over
let me do a quick evaluation, just like you did.

So you say all along it had been an ego thing, well I knew that. Come
on buddy we know your type of men: not more than seven years into employment,
earning a salary of not more than sixty thousand shillings, qualified for a
personal loan, which you take to stock your houses and more importantly to buy
a cheap car, yeah a Toyota or Nissan. And because you got a car and what,
according to your peers’ looks like a good job, you expect all girls to fall
head over heels for you. Hence you visit what you call “ wannabe “ joints where
you expect to find hot, career but harebrained girls who will go crazy once
they see your low cost vehicle. To you: Hot career girl + Toyota = Bragging rights among boys. Silly!

My madcap friend Fridah has aptly nicknamed men like you Katoyo, after Toyota , and it’s she who
told us girls how important it is to have a Katoyo in our lives. “They come in
handy, you don’t have to worry about being dropped home after a night out with
the girls, or the cost of hip fashion items or the occasional thousand or two,
you know such things”

Thus it was not by coincidence I was at that club in Westlands dressed
in that red hot short skirt. It was planned. Your pal’s girlfriend had told me
all about you, even going to an extent of tactfully asking your friend to hook
us up. Whether I looked tawdry or not, it matters little for you fell for
me…and that was the whole point of it.

You again say it was boring to listen to my problems…I manufactured
some of them. Men like you think girls are weak and need to be comforted
always. If I played strong, I would have missed out on the goodies that came
with your sympathy; the chocolates and pizza delivered to my workplace so as
for me to “know someone cares”.

It was by coincidence that my birthday fell on the second month of our
relationship, what was not happenstance was telling you about it when watching
that phone ad Since it hit the market last year, I had always dreamed of owning
one, but forking eleven thousand six hundred for a phone, not me, not now. I
got my priorities right. Thanks anyway.

That umbrella episode was not my idea. It was raining at Adams , when I called Fridah

“Girlfriend. Its raining like hell here and imagine I didn’t carry my

“That should teach you a lesson. But hey just a minute, why can’t you
tell your katoyo to bring you one”

“Come on I can’t do that, I don’t think he will agree”

“Girl you need some lessons, kwani what do you think toyos are for?
Tell him to bring it”

After this conversation I was there on the phone begging you to bring
an umbrella…and true to Fridah in two hours there you were delivering a new
umbrella. I never pitied a man that much. How could you come all the way from
Ruaraka just to bring me an umbrella, something I could have bought at a local
shop? Anyway within minutes of you leaving I was back on the phone with Fridah.

“Imagine kameleta”


I slept with you at last. It wasn’t the new drink as you think. There
is nothing wrong with rewarding a katoyo with some love. The reason I postponed
sleeping with you for as long as possible was so that you could continue with
your efforts to conquer me, of course with goodies. And dude I love sex, and
for those last six months somebody else had been taking care of that small

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16 Responses

  1. BLASPHEMY!!!… My head is bowed down in shame!!!!!… Yaani that woman had pangad the dude for a SIX MONTHS!!!?????…. cAN i SAY pussy whipped here??? Aaarrrgggghhh!

  2. Sweet! Mwahahaha!

  3. And that my ladies is how to deal with a Katoyo.let him think he has the upperhand,but focus on a Range.Japanese cars are just 4 passing time.KATOYO:-)

  4. and we call them the weaker sex…never!

  5. WAT! BIG UPS SAVVY. Wanna c his reply.

  6. @Ewairire His reply was in the post before! Actually,the fool started this whole “postmortem” of this twisted relationship!
    @Switcheeks Just because one fool lets our species down,dont be fooled into thinking that we all are that easy.. Withhold sex for 1 month,and u aint getting into most “Katoyos” cars! Focus on the Range,lakini most v you still settle for the 1200 pick up!

  7. After reading this, my attitude of being myself has been reinforced. Why should I join the hype and buy a Toyota that will first of all take my Kshs 500K, 20K every month, I use for 2 weeks of the month only and weekends, I use to please ladies who further increase my expenditure and stress, makes me get the wrong ladies, makes me get more stress as I drive along our road next to Citi Hoppa who don’t follow traffic rules, doesn’t bring income to me. Yet I can use this money to buy a plot, build a house, whose value increase with time unlike a Toyota, later say buy to my landlord and live comfortably. No wonder my boss warned me not to go the former way since he knows several of my peers who are repaying loan coz of Toyota. I’ll be myself and enjoy life.

  8. Oh crap, just when i thought the guy had come out on top…crap crap. and don’t get me wrong, i have no qualms with woman-on-top..none whatsoever

    Talk of sleeping with the enemy..

  9. Dudes, never ever underestimate the mamasita. my strategy, is put a price on it, go for it, get what you want and get out. Coz no matter how you approach it, a mamaa will always use you. But this guy took it too far. 6 months, If it is my intention to bed a mamsilla, there is a time limit and financial. if either is exhausted before the said benefits, I bounce. and what the hell, there will always be another one servicing you while you are in pursuit of this one.

    How about we just make peace? Instead of the gender wars…using each other and crap… We just be friends, with benefits when need be.

  10. LOOOOOL!

    I should get myself one. Men BEWARE! 😀

    But we should be able to get one without much cold calculations, no?

  11. Tsk.

  12. Daaaaamn.. now thats a “Setup”

  13. Lolest…That mama is damn cold!!!..So what about Subaru owners…do we have a category as well? 🙂

    Probably their category, if different, is not any better than the katoyo one.

  14. @martz m also wondering whether sub is also under this category

  15. Just Wondering at least the Katoyo. She has nothing and in the end even though she did the set up, Ladies you cannot keep up this game like dudes. You are on route 11 and you are bragging! Game yake iko level ya down, she should get a Katoyo and she will be ushered into harsher realities…

    Signed off…a Katoyo Mama.

    Life is harsh, so you have a katoyo for real? Tell us your experiences.

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