The last few weeks have been the kind when I know I am alive because there’s so much going on but I can barely feel my own skin.
It happens, to everyone, at some point. If you are like me, you’ll get a chance to stop for a moment and pinch your own cheek, just so you can feel the blood flow back, affirmation that you are alive. Sometimes I wish I knew a better way to get the same results.
My body seems to shift from severe neuropathic pain – periods when I experience severe pain as a result of both my illness and the medication I have to take to control it – and Peripheral Idiopathic neuropathy, periods when I cannot feel my extremities or experience pain in those areas. It can be a vicious cycle, one that is confusing even to me.
While all this is happening all the other stuff in my life; work, writing, friends, even faith seem to be some kind of routine just to keep me going. If I let it go on too long, then everything can be about my illness and lots of important stuff is neglected.
That’s why I need to stop for a moment and pinch my own cheek. I am glad that along with everything else that I was given, I got a bunch of special people to remind me when it’s time to pinch my own cheek.
Sometimes, I might ignore even them, in which case, we have a pre-arranged agreement that they will pinch my cheek for me. I might flare up, and maybe huff around for a few minutes, but deep down inside, I know that ‘my special people’ love me and only want the best for me. So I’ll probably calm down and start to listen.
I hope you have your pinch-your-cheek routine and your ‘special people’ too, because there is nothing so bad as being engrossed in your own thoughts and worries that you can’t stop to smell the flowers, and to make the world a better place.
I stopped to take in the beautiful scent of two flowers in the last two weeks.
I realised how very much I am proud of my daddy, his strength, his unique perception, and his choice to share his mind with me.
And then I met Catherine Wanjohi, well met virtually, a lady who is doing a great job of educating commercial sex workers in safe practices, as well as helping those who chose to leave the industry find stability and self-sufficiency. You can find out about Catherine’s work on her organisation’s website.
My mum always tells me that I should use what I have to make the world, my little corner of the world, a much better place. And I will. I have my pen, I intend to use it as far and as much as I can.
In other news, Gaby, is going through a Flight or Fight Situation. Which got me thinking that we are always at a Flight or Flight crossroad. Should I leave or should I stay? Should I do it now or later? Should I talk back or hold my tongue?
I think the same thing happens when a child is born and the doctor slaps the bum. Reality kicks in and the baby realizes that there are only two options, fight or flight. Flight at that point is a bit tricky,(unless fate and God had that in mind in the first place) so the tot decides to fight…We all decided to stay in this big bad world and for our places. What about Gaby? What will she do?
“Yeah. I don’t know you very well, figured it would be easier and safer to chat with you. ”
She paused and Gaby smiled feeling incredibly blank.
“See! You haven’t asked a question or given me the disinterested look I get from my friends in the lifestyle.”
“Like you said I don’t know you very …”
“It’s either you are too cynical for your own good or you are a very intelligent babe.”
“Babe? Me?” Gaby laughed as she handed a waiter a tray of drinks for Table No. 12.
“Yeah, babe. Hot one, too. Anyway, have you ever thought of getting out of this pub and maybe doing something ‘better’ with yourself?” She rolled her eyes in a Gossip-Girl kinda way. “Forget about you. You look comfortable here. I have been thinking of getting out of the agency. You know, down my tools and do something that I can tell my children – if ever I have them – about. Well, maybe not give up the whips and boots completely, but you know, not sell the lifestyle. ”
What in the hell makes the Blackberry Princess think that I’m was comfortable working in a hole with drunk yuppies as the main attraction and a patron who kills, deals and threatens? Comfortable?!!
The Princess Project did interview Catherine Wanjohi and she has spme very profound information on Life Bloom Services International, the organization. Check out how she helps these women Lead Blooming Lives.
The Lybelious Punk did not post any poetry(so to speak), this week. She’s fed up – I know she’s always fed up but this time it’s a bit more constructive- and she is sending all of you to Boot Camp with a poet of old, Rev. Samuel Wesley. Read and learn.
The Global Peace Convention will be held in Nairobi in December and we have all the info for you. This year’s theme is ‘conflict resolution; peace and development’ . Read More on the Convention here and then get to know Where The Truth Is with Imani Opar. Tomorrow she takes us Back To The Basics.