The Bahai Faith

The religion question usually pops out a while after the tribe question. This is when trying to know someone….usually their names give you a clue. Last year I was having a different set of roommates altogether, and I did write about them. I just hope they never read it.

I consider myself a Christian, and am usually the lost sheep that rarely goes to church and still has a million doubts about the whole Christianity thing. However, if someone inasmuch as questions my religion, I am ready to defend it with words, Bible quotes and all.

One I day, I was pondering my one of my roommates’ name. It sounded Muslim/Arabic, yet I knew she wasn’t a Muslim. Christian? I asked her, no. Hindu? No. Muslim? No. Scientology? No. Budhism? No. what then?

“Bahai.”

“Baha what? I’ve never heard of that religion before.”

“The Bahai Faith. It’s like a union of all religions.” She started explaining. We had a long argument after that….
The Bahai Faith was started in Persia (modern day Iran I think) by Bahaullah. Now who is this Bahaullah? We asked incredulously. He is Jesus Christ come again. Really? How can Jesus Christ have come and we don’t know about it? I thought the Bible clearly says that when He does come back, horns will blow (or is it trumpets, then the shaking of the earth or something), and he will descend with angles (I really need to study my Bible)…and the whole wide world will know.

She explained that these things happened, just not the way we expected them to. That when he was born, these signs were there.

Well, there is such a thing as freedom of religion. I can imagine how doubtful those Jews were when Jesus was explaining to them that he is the Messiah. Some of them are still doubtful of course. They think the New Testament (of the Bible) is hogwash.

I went and googled the Bahai Faith and I admit I didn’t finish reading on it. They do have a holy book of theirs ( can’t remember the name). I remember having the same incredulous look when I first heard of the Mormons, wondering how people just start to believe in something so er…doubtful.

But then, to each man, his own. The search for God has never been this complicated.

To all aspiring Managers…!

Here is something I got from a friend on Facebook..

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that
towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident..
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out..
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas
, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep.. ‘I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas and the love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and
do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the
turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull.
They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field..
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep
your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Fantasy

Okay, I remember writing something close to the post you are about to read, and some not-so-positive responses. So one day I wrote this post in spite..then lost the heart to publish it. (While at it, you might also read this) I was going through my papers, trying to be organised when I found the folded foolscap and voila! Nikolas requested a fantasy post, so here you go…

Warning: Explicit content, proceed at own risk. (One would think am about to explode a bomb in your face.)

My heart beats loudly in my chest. Am gaining the courage needed to face you. I look at you in the distance and my stomach ‘whooshes.’ It’s a warm night. It’s a night for dancing. In fact, the whole village is at the dance now. I can hear the drums beat in the distance. Here, upon our secret grove, we have learned each other’s secrets. Tonight is the night, and though no word has been spoken about it, we might as well be screaming out our desires.

You walk tall and regal, silent as a cat stalking prey. I cannot help but admire your stature, your demeanor. In the moonlight, you slink away to our hiding place.

Am already seated, resting my head against the tree. Remember how you taught me to write? We’ve now scratched our initials on our tree. You sit by me. It’s a bit cooler here so I move to sit between your legs, my head resting on your chest, and you put your arms around my shoulders. We sit like this for a while. The elders will probably have a fit if they see us now. Things like these are forbidden in our land. They are now taking the village brew at the dancing ceremony. One day, you shall probably be among them, leading them. After all, you are the chief’s son. But tonight you are mine, and am yours.

I relish the feel of your warm skin on mine. Yours is a hard worker’s body; you are not afraid of physical work. I, on the other hand, have been accused of being lazy. But we’ve talked about this and am sure you understand when I say some of us were just not meant to do some kind of work.

Our clothes are of the usual style, so skimpy. Your loin clothskin. My single leather skirt. We women walk around topless, but am only shy when I meet you in public. You always talk to my chest, don’t you? But it pleases me greatly, and sets a warm feeling in my belly.

You sigh contentedly and run your hands up and down my bare arms. You say you love the smoothness of my skin. I love the feel of your hands on me. Now your hands are on my belly, and I can feel coherent thoughts flying out of my head. I can only feel this moment.

Your hands cup my breasts, and even though you have done this many times before, each time is as good as that first time. You gently massage one nipple, coaxing it to erectness with your thumb. My breathing gets shallower, and I can feel myself growing damp.

Ever so slowly, I turn to face you, and look into your eyes. The animal desire I see reflected there holds me captive. Moving closer, my breasts now pressed against your chest, I lower my head, until my lips are touching yours. You pull back just a little bit to show me you want to taunt me, make me beg for your kisses.

My hands tracing loving paths on your back, and this time you don’t pull away. Your lips taste of those minty leaves you like chewing so much. I probe my tongue deeper, exploring, teasing and tantalizing. Am lost in this feeling so electrifying. Raw heat engulfs us. I can already feel the moisture on your skin. You know am so ready I want you in me right now. But you are a patient one, and you love taking your time. You literally drive me crazy.

You make me lie on my back on the cool soil. I blend in with it; me and you melt in the dark. You gaze at me as if you’d ravish me, but I can see the restraint in your eyes. You want this to last as long as possible. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
Your lips find my nipple, and I wriggle and moan beneath you, as one hand caresses my silken thighs. Your hand moves from the knee, up my hip and onto my core of pleasure. Your middle finger finds me, hot and wet, and quickly slides inside. I tense for a moment, feeling only what words cannot describe. You index finger finds my bud, and spreading the lips to have full access, you tease me. Am half out of my mind and am almost coming. But instead you reduce your speed, leisurely exploring, and now you have your two fingers in me, which am riding. I tense for a minute, utter a cry and a shattering orgasm rocks me. I can feel the wetness trickle out of me. I still want you.

Discarding your loin cloth you stand, and pull me up with you. You support me against the tree. I have one hand around your neck, and in the other hand, I hold your glorious manhood. It throbs with a life of its own. The need to have you in me is great.

With your strength, you lift both of my legs and wrap them around your waist. My hand is guiding you, and with the first thrust you enter me deeply. We both gasp. What we have is powerful. Slowly, you move in and out, pulling out almost completely and as am about to move forward in refusal, you thrust back. I meet you stroke for stroke.
Our rhythmic movements increase in pace. I can feel you swell and grow inside me. We are moving in a kaleidoscope of color, making sounds we cannot hear. Light explodes before my eyes, and my coming this time is like thunder. A few seconds later, you too lets go, close your eyes and ejaculate in me. When you pull out, it’s sensuously lubricated sliding.

We lie together at the foot of the tree, your arm my pillow. Before long we have to part. But I know we’ll be back here again soon.

Porn in Kenyan Campuses?

The other day I wrote a post about Kenyan matatus taking it too far.

Well, the story of porn being made in Kenyan campuses is not new. I first heard it when in my first year. What actually happened is there was this clip going around on J-net. Who remembers those wires? Yeah, I never did praise J-net, did I? It is a good idea, because the LAN enables file sharing, so you can copy movies, music, series, software, viruses and anti-viruses, and porn clips.

Here is some advice, be careful when opening media files that you find hidden in C:\Program Files\Windows instead of D:\Entertainment. Also, be wary of unlabeled CDs and DVDs.

Almost every guy in this campus (not all…I just said most) have a number of porn clips in their computers.

Anyway, there was this clip going round, it was not professional or anything. I actually never did get to watch it, despite my curiosity. See, the girl had no idea the boyfriend was using his phone to tape their coitus activities…then he showed it around and before you can say video, it was circulating wildly on J-net. The lady in question denied it hotly (Is my a** that light? That’s not me…or something like that) but the damage had already been done.

While this was being discussed around campus, the K.U video came up. Apparently, theirs was a complete directed video. I don’t know their distribution rights or to what end…also, video passed me by. I find it hard to sit down with anyone to watch porn. It seems K.U have taken it a notch higher and that is not their only video. Am not sure anyone still has those videos in their computers, people have a habit of formatting their computers every so often.

There was also this incident of a couple that was suspended or expelled from a private university for taping their sessions. I don’t know how their videos were discovered, but the administration said they could not tolerate it and both were sent packing. All I heard was the story, I can’t vouch for it’s accuracy.

The Kenyan industry has not been left behind. Porn is regularly churned out in River Road, there were even some interviews in some paper. The young girls in the video get as little as Kshs. 100 per session. They ask where else can they find a livelihood?

How about Kikuyu porn? This one I actually saw. This friend of mine was scanning his flash disk for viruses, since he had given it out to carry a movie. We decided to check out the movie, getting fascinated it’s actually a local movie in a local language. The first slide was this copyright warning…then all of a sudden, dark bodies grinding, cameras zooming in, dirty language being spewed out…okay, we did not watch an entire minute. We deleted the file.

I don’t even know where am going with this, just thought I’d let it out.

Randomness

I was on the boda boda, the wind whipping my hair across my face, headed for home when I let my imagination wonder. You see this weekend, there was Jkuat Sports Day, where all universities in Kenya were invited to participate. I don’t know if those from huko Western Kenya made it, but even as far as Njoro, Egerton certainly made journey. I saw their bus parked and students filing out. In my mind, I imagined Archie coming out, Mike Tyson style (or should I say Conjestina). He had his team of supporters and hangers on, was in some red robes and a belt around his waist for Heavy weight (or is it Feather weight? Tell us Archie), ready to wrestle with Obadiah, who was also coming out of another bus with his entourage. Wearing nasty expressions and sneering at each other, they headed to the pitch.

Next was the Daystar Bus, from the unmistakable budget company. Now, having met Boyfulani, I cannot imagine him playing any sport :D. Maybe chess, or table tennis. I imagined him in a rather different version. He came out with his group of reporters, camera dangling from his neck, notebook and pen in hand. He began asking all sorts of questions, like “what do you think of sports day?” and anyone who answered was like “ I think it is very sporty.” And BF is there scribbling furiously, filling his notebook, finishing his rolls of film even before the sports begin.

I do remember Madmyke saying he plays rugby. So I pictured him in those tight shorts, muscle shirt, mean expression as him and his fellow Johny Bravos alighted from the bus (Strathmore?). They looked around, enjoyed the attention they were getting, waved at the chicks, and walked in a ‘majestic’ way to the rugby pitch, where they proceed to tear each other’s limbs off in one of the violent-most games I know.

Nzembi, not to be left behind. Since she was in the host school, she was not alighting from any bus. She and her group of gal pals (????) were all dressed up, ready to cheer their teams. I suppose short skirts and pom poms were not out of order as they shouted their loudest, not to cheer but rather for the attention. (Nzembi, it’s just my imagination! ;-))

Who else is in a Kenyan university?

XXXXXRated 2

Sitting across the table from me, he looked handsome. Dark and handsome. His smile lit his face. He was in a black tuxedo. There is just something about a man in a white shirt that gets to me. Whether it is the contrast with his dark skin, I just don’t know. We had decided to ditch informal wear and dine out formally. We had had enough of soda and pizzas and home movies.

I was in this little red dress. Earlier, we had gone shopping and I bought my first dress. It was figure hugging, had a long slit on one side and left out half my bust in the name of cleavage. I could feel his eyes on my chest now. I lowered my wine glass and smiled in return. The food at the coastal resort was superb, though my mind was hardly on it. The wine was fruity but not too sweet. The setting was perfect, the other couples well dressed but I had eyes for no one.

The meal ended, the live band struck up, playing Kenyan oldies. We stood up to dance. Stepping into his arms is all I had wanted to do all night. Any excuse to touch each other was welcomed. My hands around his neck, his around my waist, and we swayed to the music. I loved the feel of his ‘ndengu’ hair. Who said long straight hair was good? (Exceptions are Lorenzo Lamas, Shawn Michaels, Michael Bolton…)

I wondered if the band was taking requests. I asked for the song Lady in Red. It seems like it was just meant for this moment. Here I was in a red dress, with the man I loved, dancing in his arms to my favorite song. I was melting into him. His lips at my ear, whispering the words of the song as we danced.

Lady in Red…is dancing with me
there is nobody here
just you and me
I swear I wanna
be the only one..
I’ll never forget
the way you look tonight.

I looked into his eyes, and knew he was about to kiss me. His lips came down on mine and I can swear that was my sweetest kiss. Not too deep, but I could feel the passion rising as his hands sensuously caressed my back. That was when I felt someone tapping my shoulder. Opening my arms brought me to reality, we were in a public place. One of the hotel workers was breaking up our little romancing on the dance floor because we were making other guest uncomfortable. Kenyans, conservative in public.

He suggested we go to a drive. I jumped into the passenger seat of the rented car. He drove to the beach. I love the coast sometimes. It was night but it was very warm, making the night a comfortable one to walk in. We left the car, I took off my six-inch numbers that I could hardly walk in and he took off his shoes too. Holding hands, we set off, wandering aimlessly on the sand. We headed for some rocks.

The sky was exceptionally starry that night. The moon was big and yellow. It was such a good feeling, just holding hands and walking. We reached the walks and sat down. The sea stretched out infinitely before us.

We lay down, his hand my pillow. He caressed my hair as we talked without words. He turned his face towards mine, and we kissed again, this time letting loose our passions. Unbuttoning his shirt, I trailed kisses from his base of his neck, nibbled his nipple and continued to his stomach. His hands were trembling, his breath labored as he helped me unhook the zipper and undress him. I took him in my mouth, gently but firmly . I worked my magic, as he moaned deep in his throat.

Grabbing my shoulders, he pulled me back, saying it was my turn. Holding my dress at the hem, he pulled it over my head. He gasped after realizing I had nothing underneath. His hands were like fire, everywhere he touched me I was burning. His mouth on my breasts was a sensation never before experienced. And when he kissed me there….the sun, stars and moon were no longer visions but within reach.

He came into me, gently. Skillfully, he burst my seams. I could feel the entire length of him in me. Inch by inch. Together, we rode into waves and waves of sexstacies. And when we reached there, it was like letting flood gates open.

Only later did I realize my dress had been blown off by the breeze. But it did not matter. We walked to the sea. His coat, my new dress. We ditched out clothes yet again, but for the sea. It was the first time I was swimming naked in the sea.

Forget the fooling around with classmates in swimming pools. This was a make out session like no other. We ended up in the sand again. Where did all the energy come from? Never mind…this time we were more familiar, so we took our time. Much later, after much fun washing off the sand in the sea, we headed back, and snuck into our room.

That was adventure..I must say. Here I was bare feet, wearing only his coat, while his sandy clothes did him no justice. I handed him back his coat…he wanted to be paid for lending it out to me…I told him I had ways..he said he’ll make me cry as I paid back…..and I said as long as they were cries of pleasure…

And that is how I would like my first time to be.

Have a nice weekend. and to emulate 31337, why are you not reading this?

On Exam Break

 

It is that time of the year again…

Someone please get me this book…

 

Very soon, I shall be sitting in a room that looks like this on the outside:

 

and like this on the inside:

Zoom in to find me:

I need my grades to look like this:

but only if you send me your success wishes…

adios, for now, i shall be taking a short break to revise… those eight units ain’t no joke..