Embarrassing Visits to the Doctor

How many of you have ever dropped their pants before a doctor? Raise your hand a little higher please? I thought so…. no one has their hand up, but if you are in your twenty-something year, there is high chances you are lying.

Recently, I was faced with a predicament. To go or not to go..to the doctor, that is. To wait for the problem to go away, or to go and confirm it’s not what I hope it’s not. Yaani, I’m even embarrassed to think about it. So I mentally prepared myself for a whole week, like what am I going to say and all.

There are very many types of doctors; but let’s just put them in two categories. Private doctors and public doctors. Private doctors are friendly, patient and all…and the public doctors who don’t give er… who don’t really care to put you at ease. In fact, they go to the extreme to make you utterly uncomfortable, staring at you like, “can you speak up?” (I got a million other patients to see and my colleagues are making a killing in private practice. Plus I need to take a piss, so hurry the hell up and say something.)

You can imagine where university doctors fall.

Since I don’t want to narrate my experience, I’ll narrate my friend’s experience. I swear it wasn’t me.

So she took a deep breath, and took the short walk to hospital. She found a queue, as always and spent 10 minutes rehearsing what she’ll say when she got in. She was hoping to find a female doctor, but she found a fatherly male doc. She entered, sat down and waited. He asked her name, picked up her file, scanned it and asked, “So what’s the problem?”

“I have a boil in the inner lip of my vagina.”

I’m sure the doctor can tell a rehearsed line. So he said,

“Drop your pants.”

Ha ha. He didn’t actually say that but he did get her out of her pants onto the examination table. The doc probed her and there (of course with gloves) and finally the examination was over.

Just a minor fungus infection. Phew. Now off she went to the Pharmacy to get a long list of prescribed drugs, including lots of amoxyll tablets. You can never go to the university hospital and leave without amoxyll tablets. Whether you have malaria or a headache or a cold.