Mariga’s Gal

This post was first published at Butterfly

The couple in coast

The couple at home?

Anyone still doubting my paparazzi skills?

The diary of an intern

This post was first published at Butterfly

I apologize if I have had no internship stories to tell….the stories are there, but I realize they are not mine to tell. I could get sued, you know, now that am famous.

A day cannot start until I have snoozed the alarm at least three times, jumped out of bed in a panic and be on the dusty road (I know soon we will have a superhighway, but now it’s just a dusty mess). The fight for matatus begins. Because of the mega-traffic jams in Nairobi, most matatus will not reach the city center. Lucky for me, I don’t work in town.

So having elbowed my way into a mat (which I don’t actually do…but who’s to judge…), and settled in, I get out my phone to start early morning tweeting (on twitter, just in case you thought am a bird now). Almost always, the radio is tuned to Classic 105.

Mwalimu King’ang’i : Na unayua huyo mtu nilimweleza…

Maina: Heee heeee haaaa…

Mwalimu King’ang’i: Nakwambia huyo mtu..

Maina: You guy…heeee..haaaa..ha ha..uii….

Mwalimu King’ang’i: Nikamwambia

Maina: Uuuiiii hauiii haaaa haaa heeee heeee haaaa heee

Then the tastiest githeri advert comes on, so I plug in my headphones and listen to Breaking Benjamin screaming Dear Agony. Oh, the agony of public transport. Unfortunately for me, my (not so ) old man works in the opposite direction. Soon, we encounter a bumper to bumper situation. Fortunately for me, am in a matatu. The most recklessly driven vehicles. On earth. It feels like we are in a safari rally. We take corners, shortcuts, create our own roads, take diversions into estates with no roads, through fields, valleys and hills, and eventually join the main road after much dust.

I give up at tweeting because I cannot read while bouncing around. Most of my clothes are black…so am not worried about looking like I walked all the way from home. I switch on the computer and other accessories (like printers etc..you get my drift), stare out of the window (ok, not true but below is a view from my window over lunch hour day dreams), then log in to my gmail, twitter (they haven’t realized it’s the new FB so no one frowns much), blog (so I can see who’s commented then read their blogs, then get links to more blogs etc..) and am ready to start my day.

View from my office

Soon, workers from other departments will come, wanting some IT services or other. Young and old, cute and normal looking, mean and nice….which reminds me, because some of those senior people have been so nice, I had no idea they were so senior. I may have told big big boss to wait, so I can finish with big boss, and you see, the order of things is, big big big boss first, big big boss next, big boss..you get the drift. No matter who arrived first.

I’ll get called to sort out some issue..or help set up laptops/projectors for presentations and stuff. At the end of the evening, it will be my responsibility to un-set up. At which point I may pick one or two sweets leftover. I confess. So you see, I can help the cleaning crew trash the remaining stuff. Oh, whom am I kidding? Who wants to see sweets go to waste?

In-between, I may get called to test some in-house developed system or other. I may take one or two cups of tea or coffee. Flirt with an intern or two. Make friends with one new person or other. Go out for lunch (or fruits) with my skinny and not-so-skinny friends. I may decide to teach myself something new with computers. I could chat with someone, or just read blogs. My day is varied. I could also get sent to pick up stuff that boss forgot somewhere. Am happy to go…some stretching of legs and taking in the scenery. This is one of the greenest places in Kenya. I’ll put up a non-descript photo soon, watch this space.

The day ends..the working part. So you realize that what you are taught in school may not be what you are doing, but you know you’ll get there someday. A positive attitude will go a long way. So you say bye to your twitter friends, pick up your friend from the department downstairs..and by 5.20 p.m. latest, you are signed out.

You are in no hurry to take a mat this time…so you bargain with the conductor.

“Home ngapi?”

“Hamsini..fifty”. You frown, move back..

” 40 basi, kalia madam..”

“30.”

“Ingia gari…”he opens the front door. I smile and plug in my headphones. Time to check my facebook. I made a promise not to FB at work. Nothing in the inbox. Dusty bumpy road…oh, who’s going to do my laundry? Me, of course. It was a rhetorical question.

As I walk to the house from the stage, I admire the clothes by the roadside. I see a really nice skirt. I ask the price.

“Ngapi?” I put its value at Kshs. 150 at most.

“550.”

“Na mwisho?”

“450.”

I turn back without a glance and contemplate the flight of stairs facing me.

Weekends…that’s a story for another day. But here’s a pic I took on a very dangerous bridge while looking for a swimming pool this last Sunday.

Went to two places, found two similar notices of lack of water.
Place 1

Notice 1

Place 2

Notice 2

To Chase or Not To Chase

So Mediamadnessk was having a drink at a bar (hey..I have to create a background story) when this lady approached him and chatted him up. Wait a minute, is she hitting on him? So he decided to tweet his thoughts, he’s a hunter…not the hunted.

Mediamadnessk This is getting weird! Am being hit on by a lady!

Mediamadnessk Are women this desperate?

savvykenya @Mediamadnessk what’s wrong with being chased by a lady?Unless u r a lady urself..which is still ok in this age of #liberalization #equality

Mediamadnessk @savvykenya when a lady chases a guy it’s just wrong! It’s being desperate!

savvykenya @Mediamadnessk do u really feel that way? So a lady cant even approach you, let alone a fullblown chase?

Mediamadnessk @savvykenya a little flirting is ok. But a chase just shows me how desperate one is and they dont respect themselves

savvykenya @Mediamadnessk hmm..so its desperate for a chick to do the chase, but its ok for guys? Double standards, dont you think?

Mediamadnessk @savvykenya it’s not. Women are supposed to sit there on a throne and reject or accept offers. Not being easy and follow men!

savvykenya @Mediamadnessk wow! Clearly,we have diff views.Its ok for a woman to get off her throne to go after what she wants without bein called easy!

Mediamadnessk @savvykenya real women keep their dignity and wait 4 men! You can’t chase men and escape the cheap/easy/loose tag

savvykenya @Mediamadnessk are you saying chasers arent real women? Maybe some men like being chased..

Mediamadnessk @savvykenya they’re NOT! I doubt if any man enjoys being chased

savvykenya @Mediamadnessk then they are fake women?! Have you asked the men…maybe we should carry out a survey? #truce

Mediamadnessk @savvykenya a lady respects herself. We should do a survey

nymou @mediamadnessk hey,stop misleading @savvykenya .i would enjoy being chased

Mediamadnessk@kanaosh men seek women. Naturally

savvykenya @Mediamadnessk do u mind if I put this up on my blog to collect reader views? Respect ? I think u can still chase as u respect urself @nymou

Mediamadnessk @savvykenya you can put it up… tell me how it goes

The Kenyan Anorexic

This post was first published at Butterfly

I am tired..tired of listening to your whines.

Picture this…we decide we are having fruits for lunch. It’s a girl pack thing. You find a group of friends together at lunch time and they’ll order the same thing. So someone suggests fruits and we all go like, “why not, Yeah..am fine with that, I don’t feel like eating anyway..” But you know me. I have my own mind…that’s why I’ll agree to the absurd fruits-only lunch when I’ve had chapatti for mid-morning snack at tea time.

“Am so full….this mango is so big…” you’ll start.

“I think I have a very small stomach…” you’ll continue before I have the chance to tell you the mango you have selected is one of the smallest, it’s full of water and in an hour the water will be gone from your stomach and you’ll be yawning away.

“And you know I didn’t even take tea…it’s so far away.” Ok, the distance can put you off, but for me tea is brought right there and let me not say how many cups I took.

We finish up with the fruits (a slice of pineapple, water melon and good-sized mango later) and as we walk back, we admire some suits and some kid’s clothes hanged by the side of the road.

“I like that gray one…and the blue one, the third from your right.” A says.

“Yeah..the gray one is nice, also that green one, the one with ..that one, yes.” I join in.

“Imagine none of those can fit me.” You add.

“And the green one?” I ask.

“That is so big…am very slim. I can’t find clothes that fit me anywhere.” Oh really? How about the rows and rows of jeans I usually admire but they can’t get past my knee? And my other friend who’s small with really nice clothes, does she tailor them herself? I should be telling you this but then you go ahead..

“Am the smallest in the family…they usually force me to eat. I don’t even take lunch. And even if we go for lunch, I wont finish.”

“Maybe that kid skirt can fit me…” But those are clothes meant for children!

That’s it. Tomorrow am going for lunch alone. But I think you should google anorexic models pictures. They are very scary.

Why Am Not A Fan of FB

This post was first published at Butterfly

Ok..just sample this conversation on FB. Regardless I may have started it, but I think it’s time to hit the ‘unfriend’ button.

Princess Fifi: (Status Update) THE HANGOVER!!!SO HILARIOUS!!!CAN WATCH IT SEVERAL TYMZ A DAY!!!THAT WAS CRAZY SHIT HAPPENING ALL THRU THE MOVIE!!!HAHHAHHA MY RIBS R ACHIN!!AUCH!TWAS A REAL COMEDY!!!SO CLASSIC!Yesterday at 21:17 ·

Comment ·LikeUnlike
Stephen Skinny Kinara it’s cool lakini whats ur real name and do u know me?

Yesterday at 21:19Princess Fifi WATCHU TALKING ABT U KNW ME?RYTE AM FIFI

Yesterday at 21:23Stephen Skinny Kinara Yeah i read that bt doesnt ring a bell. jog my mem.

Yesterday at 21:27Irene Wambui Odhiambo Amen 2 that sista!!tis a real ribcracker!i totaly digd it!

Yesterday at 21:31Princess Fifi @irene u need to re watch it so fucked up were the 4 guys,,,@steph ni fiona b.

Yesterday at 22:02Stephen Skinny Kinara umeniita steph!!! wacha nikuremove friend

Yesterday at 22:08 Savvy (Me) The hangover was released mid last year…you watching it now? But classic scenes like the man bag/satchel, the poem on the roof, the black Doug..

Yesterday at 22:25 · Stephen Skinny Kinara the nude chinese dude jumpin out the boot

Yesterday at 22:28Princess Fifi @savvy fst wat is your problem n how the hell do u knw its my fst tym watching it?infct tis my twenty second tym,,,b*** wats itchin u i just don’t get it,,,now u trippin gal nah nah nt on my stuff?u think u so updated sit the fuck down.@steph again i did chuck me i don’t need yo a$$$ around my page do it before i do it,,u just gat me when i have my day,,,holy crap lil dude,,,bye.

Today at 06:26 Savvy Are u serious Fiona? I was just dissing u, obviously its ur first time. And u call me a bitch? Really? Grow up.

Today at 07:15 · Princess Fifi u trippin gal,,,,really trippin

Today at 09:29 Savvy Huh? R u really the Fiona I knw?

Today at 13:08 · Princess Fifi What do u think nigga?

At which point I hit the unfriend button.

Sunrise at Savvy’s Place

This post was first published at Butterfly

I got inspired today….I feel like I should have done photography..or something.

Sunrise From The Balcony

Ths is When I wake Up

This is After Showering

And this is as am leaving...

Savvy The Famous: A Review in Zuqka

This post was first published at Butterfly

What more can I say?

When I Get Drunk

This post was first published at Butterfly

When I get drunk my tongue loosens
And I say what’s on my mind

When I get drunk I lose my inhibitions
And I’m up for anything

When I get drunk I sometimes pass out
And my friends play silly pranks on me

When I get drunk
I dance like there is no tomorrow

After I get drunk
I sometimes wake up in a stranger’s bed

This poem was courtsey of
© james wamathai 2010

New Movie

I planned to write a long post today..but I have been so busy I did not get time so just watch out.

I was going to write it this morning, but then the matatu I was in was impounded (damn!), then I had to wait in dust for a long time for another one….which could not stop at my stage because cops have declared my stage is non-existent. So I had to walk back in more dust..and I arrived late, and immediately got busy testing some new system.

So here goes some new movie, due soon in cinemas near you!

Broke Black Golger...

Internship: Week One

This post was first published at Butterfly

I know we are supposed to look official but I don't think Short Suits are recommended.

Work…

Well, it has been one week. I am keeping my cool at the work place, observing everyone and everything. Eventually, you get to learn who to fear, who wants to be treated with the utmost respect and formality (I respect everyone), who wants to be greeted when you meet in the corridors, who wants to be avoided at all costs (they’d rather you act like you did not exist), which interns to make friends with, what kind of topics to discuss with intern #1 and not intern #2…..

It’s not my aim to be everyone’s friend or the favourite intern. All i want is to be known as the intern who knows her work, is responsible, punctual, reliable and flexible. Friendly but not so much so that you can take advantage of her.

So with my big mouth, i’ve already told one or two fellow interns that I am the face behind this blog..which will make it hard to write honestly about them (or diss-make fun of- them). I know not enough office politics yet.
The week was not bad. Let me just highlight the lows and the downs of working here:

The Lows:
Waking up early. If it was once in a week like during early lessons or exam time…maybe. But working means am up too early and especially considering am used to waking up past 10 when on holiday…

So you thought you would wear your best, plus the working high heels and strut in and everyone will look up as the hot new intern walks in. first of all, the floor is too slippery to strut in stilettos without the fear of falling and second..this place is teeming with interns, so there is nothing special about you!

Working late on some nights…maybe some sacrifices are worth making. So maybe those dreams of having after-work coffee and drinks with my classmates as they too leave their offices will happen on the days am not working late and not any day I wished…

The Highs

It feels rewarding going home in the evening after having accomplished something during the day, even if it was testing a program or checking out the website for out of date stuff and broken links. Or creating a shortcut for a user on the desktop.

I have met someone from my campus, and a friend I hadn’t seen in a while interning here. Looks like i will not have trouble making friends…plus some of the guys are well…good looking

Now that am part of the I.T team, i can go into places written on the door “ Strictly I.T. Staff only.” They include mysterious rooms called “control rooms”…so even if you’ve never used them, but at least you have been told to supervise the cleaning because an I.T. staff member has to be there at all times.

I work 15 min (without traffic jam) away from home, and 30 min with jam…which means I don’t have to wake up too early, and I use less fare which is good since intern’s payment is peanuts. At least here, it will cover my transport cost and lunch, or transport cots and credit.
Not all three. Or lunch and credit.

I don’t want to analyze too much…just know I like the place so far.